Dawn Laundrup was engineered for dependability, and her fine craftmanship allows for carefree maintenance. Her exclusive features fit any budget. Once you have indulged yourself and experienced the pleasures of her world, you can compare your life to hers and heave a sigh of relief that experiencing it second-hand was easier and more comfortable than how she did it.

Having lived an entire life by age 12 and curated an impressive collection of anecdotes, she views every day after that as icing on the cake. She believes that every heartbreak or dark night of the soul produces moments of utter hilarity, and that’s what keeps her going. She accepts your thanks for serving her country as a member of the Air Force and will tell you it was her pleasure to do so. She would do it again at the drop of a hat but needs to let those less experienced have fun with it now.

Being the daughter of an Air Force father and a woman who used her uterus as a loaded weapon taught her many valuable things, like drawing from every childhood memory and squeezing them so hard that words appear on paper in the form of a book, easier to use than ever before. She intends to continue this process until every memory and experience has given her total value for her money.